THE GROW PODCAST | S1E6 | Waiting Well | Summer Lee | Purpose Driven Coaching & Consulting
Beth 0:02
Welcome back to the Grow Podcast. I'm Beth, and I'm so excited to be here. We're on the last letter of the Grow framework. W now today I get to sit with summer again, and let me just tell you, just wait till you hear her perspective on waiting. It's not from theory. She has absolutely lived it, and she does such a beautiful job telling us the stories behind crow through years of unanswered prayers, unexpected detours and painful delays, she's learned to walk through the wait without losing hope, even though it's not always easy and sometimes it's even painful. Now, just when I thought that I kind of had the whole weighty thing down to a T, I was wrong, I learned something, and I even learned something when I was listening back through this podcast the second time, what she shares today brings so much clarity and comfort to me. Personally, I know I feel so confident it's going to do the same for you. So let's lean in and let's jump in to the conversation. Let's get started
Summer 1:11
Recognizing that we are always waiting on something. Oh, that's really good. We're ever had that perspective. We're always waiting on something. We're waiting on Jesus to return, and
Beth 1:21
it's so good, we could just a mic drop is done. Episode done.
Summer 1:27
Okay, well, let me give credit where credit is due. Oh, my goodness. As I was preparing to be on a panel with some ladies talking to a group of single ladies here recently, one of the panelists is the author of the book, seasons of waiting. Her name's Betsy Childs Howard and her book, so I'm gonna endorse it. It's fantastic. Her book helped me have that perspective, because she ties it all back to how as the bride we're waiting for the bridegroom. That's so rich. Yeah, read that. But she she goes through many things in life that we wait for, waiting for healing, waiting for a prodigal, right? Waiting for a home. I mean, it's just waiting for our spouse. I mean, it is amazing book, so I can't take credit for that, but just I think that it's helped me really embrace waiting. When I recognize that like there's no end to it. Just Just accept it as part of life. Because if I'm not waiting on one thing, I'm going to be waiting on something else. It's just the the nature of the world that we we live in. And you know, my, my biggest weight of it, to answer your question, was waiting for my husband. I did not meet Jason until I was 39 and we got married when I was 40. And, yeah, looking back, it's easy to just quickly go, oh, it was worth the wait, and it was, it totally was. But that doesn't mean that during that time, it wasn't very difficult at times, right? Um, it's hard. Waiting is hard. Waiting is not always easy. Yeah, that's right, I knew through it that whatever God had on the other side of it was worth the wait, and I'm very thankful for that, because it didn't come to me until I was probably in my late 30s. You know, for a lot of years, I remember just being just very frustrated with the obvious things, like dating, you know, the disappointment that came along with it, the loneliness of not having anyone to go to dinner with, or go to church with, or, you know, there's or to travel with. I mean, there's a lot of challenges in that, and there's a lot of things that really like, kind of kick at your self esteem, like, what's wrong with me? Why does nobody want me? You know, you go through all these emotions
Beth 3:48
back up before you met Jason, was there a time during that wait, know that you jumped ahead of God or and you're like, Okay, that didn't work. And there was a shift where you're like, Okay, I'm just gonna wait. Well,
Summer 4:00
I think that I tried to jump ahead of God for most of the wait. I absolutely think I did. I started to kind of hone in on that struggle between, like, what actions do I need to take, versus God, what are you doing that I don't see that. I just need to be still, you know, for and I actually had a single lady asked me that recently, because she was in that place of I mean, do I try dating apps or, you know, what? What do I do? What is my role while I wait? Because I used to kind of joke that. I mean, I don't know if the guy's just gonna, like, show up in my living room while I'm sitting here on the couch, instead of being out and about, you know, in the world and having the opportunity to meet people. But I think what's most important here is that I got to a place where I recognized that during that time, God was trying to work inside of me, and so instead of my focus being. On trying to find this elusive, you know, right guy. I I learned to just work on me and allow God to work in me. And I was just started reading lots of books and, you know, just really digging in with church and leading small groups, and I really did come around to a place where I decided that God, even if you never have marriage or spouse for me, I will be happy with whatever you choose for my life. I trust you to fill that void. Because, trust me, I had prayed for that void to be taken away. You know, there was, there was a true void there in my life, and I had prayed for God to take that void away. Because I had, I had experienced it with not having children. God had taken that, just that desire away so that I didn't feel like I was missing something there. And so I prayed for the same with marriage. Just just take that desire away from me, and he never, never did. What I trusted was that God had something for me, whether it was a spouse or something else that I knew that I would be so happy with. And so I just kind of let go of my want, and I trusted God with whatever he wanted. And as soon as I did, of course, he dropped Jason in my lap. And I'm not joking. It's like, when I finally just got to a point where I was like, I'm, I'm done with with, you know, trying to date, and you know, I'm just, I'm just going to live my life in do it the way God wants me to do it, and step in this obedience to Him. And then when I did, he he gave me my husband. And I know that's not everybody's story. And you know, I'm not saying that once you surrender your personal life to God, he's going to give you a husband. You know it doesn't work that way, but I'm thankful that it did in my situation. And I mean, Jason was so worth the wait. And I realized also, after meeting him and knowing him, that maybe the waiting wasn't even me or it wasn't because of me. I know that God was growing me through that season, but Jason was not available to me. We met six months after he divorced, and you know, so maybe the waiting was also waiting on God to prepare Jason to be my husband.
Beth 7:40
Yeah, it's so crazy, because a lot of times when we're talking about preparing for our spouse or waiting for something big, like we don't naturally take into consideration all the other people and where they are. It's like we just think, oh, they just magically appear on the scene. But once they do, we realize they have a history, they have a childhood, they have, you know, possibly currently in a relationship. You know it's like, so the timing of it, it you can draw back, and you can look in hindsight, and it makes a lot of sense, but I'll often ask God, like hey when it comes to waiting on anything, give me the foresight that I need to walk towards something so that I know that it's you in hindsight, like, and there's a story to tell there, right? And so these people of preparation, my husband and I were talking about this last night, actually, because, and I think we discussed this on a previous episode, you and I did, so there's like, all this echo with it. But you know, the wait is not always. The delay in the waiting is not always for because of us. Like, oh, you've done something bad. And that's a lot of perception sometimes, like, I must be doing something wrong. I'm not worthy. I don't and that's a whole identity thing. But at the end of the day, like, let's just get real. It could be in addition to, or in place of that other person out there is still getting ready.
Summer 9:04
Do you feel exhausted? Burnt out? You're not alone, and you don't have to stay there. The grow course is your invitation to get back in rhythm with God's design, back in rhythm with grace. Rest, obedience and waiting. It's practical, it's rooted in Scripture, and it's an invitation to a change of pace and perspective. You can learn more about the Grow course and discounts for podcast listeners in the show notes below. Now let's get back to the show.
Beth 9:36
Okay, so let's switch gears, because I know that you know, this is a special story to me, because it's actually what connected us to know that pain connected us. Isn't that crazy to think about. But when you first reached out to us, and I think we talked about this on a previous episode too, my husband put me in contact with you, he's like, you've got to talk to my wife. And mainly because I was having some major bladder issues that later ended up being kidney stuff, but I wasn't aware of that at the time. And so you have this whole kidney story that he's, like, trying to tell me about that you had just briefly told him about, like, probably So briefly, but he knew that there was a connection there, because he's got that gifting. And so when he says that I need to connect with someone, like it's I take that very seriously. So personally, I want to talk about your kidney stone story, because I know that that was a tremendous weight for you on a scale from one to 10. Do you not how hard it was, but that stage in your life, which was fairly recently, how was that weight in comparison, you know, like to not the pain level, because I know that that was high, but the waiting, Well part of it, what did that look like for you?
Summer 10:50
There's so many lessons in that story, and there's so many angles that we could talk about that, because at that same time, I was also waiting on like it my whole life, it felt like got put on hold, waiting because that kidney stone kept me from being able to really function like a normal human being, like a lot of days, yeah, and at a point at all, and so I, I stopped trying to grow my business. I was, I mean, I was just surviving through it. And so coming out of the season of selling my previous business and trying to grow this new business, I felt like that kidney stone drama and just experience, put it on hold. And so it was frustrating from multiple angles. I had come through some healing, I had come through some rest, I come through and I felt like, Okay, I'm on the other side of a lot of struggle, God. And then, like, we get there, my dog had passed away, who'd been my baby, you know, she was almost 16. And you think, like, Okay, I'm moving into this good season, and then bam, that kidney stone hit, and I'm right back into another season of struggle and another season of waiting. And it felt for years like it was just one thing after another, and it doesn't. Didn't just feel that way it was. It's been one thing after another for probably six years that Jason and I have really battled through in physical health and waiting for healing, and then it feels like you get a level of healing, and then you continue to wait again. And so the kidney stone on many levels, just felt like, oh yeah, it was the first time I ever got to a place of honestly, like hopelessness. It took me so far past, like, fight or flight that I was just in collapse and in this hopeless state. Because I was like, this is never gonna end like we have just suffered through one thing after another after another, and I felt like that was the rhythm of our life, right is always waiting on some crisis or some problem to heal, and it was exhausting for us. And of course, God really spoke to me during those times and pulled me out of that. And because I know we always have hope, but I, I mean, my nervous system was so dysregulated, you know, it really did take me to a place that I've never been before, um, in that waiting journey. And so when you, I guess, you asked me, you know what, what was that experience like in in waiting? And it was three and a half months, by the way, that I waited on the stone to pass through my ureter before I had to have surgery. It was not my choice, but I was forced to have surgery to remove it. Through that journey, there were times of strength, there were times of boldness and confidence, and then there were times of absolute fear. I feel like I experienced all the emotions and all the highs and lows. I mean, there were times when I was in so much fear and in so much like worry in this situation that it rocked me to my core. I mean, it was physically just taking a real toll. And then there were times that I was in a place of such confidence that, I mean, we took a trip to to Utah during that time, and we spent nine days in an RV traveling in southern Utah and national parks. And, I mean, hiking for miles, no cell, cell phone service for hours, and I've got a kidney stone in my left ureter, and it's like, God would take me into this place, literally in the wilderness, where I would just have keep going. I trust you. I trust you because I didn't cancel the trip. People think that's crazy. Every time I tell that story, they're like, you've lost your mind. And I'm like, I never got peace about canceling the trip. I didn't feel like God wanted me to cancel the trip. I think he wanted us to go. Because I think in that space, he taught me to trust him even more. That's really good. Like, um, I'm not where anybody but God can help. Like, there's no cell phone, there's no emergency, there's no hospital. Like, Jason wasn't in a physical shape that. I mean, Jason's in great physical shape, but he didn't need to be carrying me miles, you know, out of, you know, the desert. And so I just remember it being in this true blessing and faith, as we would, we would hike into these places just going, God, I it's just me and you, it's just me and you and I trust you to get me through this and get us out of here safely. And he did. There was some pain involved. I mean, there was, but it was probably six days after we got back home that the stone moved to a place that became unrelenting. I'm pretty sure all the bouncing in the RV probably moved it to that spot. But I say all that to say that on the other side of the waiting God taught me so much through that experience and how to how to let go of my way, how to let go of my fears and surrender them to him, how to trust him with something that I was holding on to so tightly, my bladder, I was so fearful of surgery that went into that place in My body because of the trauma that it's been through. And I think I told this story in a previous episode, so I won't tell the whole story, but I remember a month in God so clearly, clearly said to me that he needed me to trust Him, whether that stone passed naturally or whether I had surgery and I couldn't at that time, I couldn't. It took me two and a half more months of pain and suffering, you know, to get to the point that I could let go and and trust Him, and I've learned from that I fully trust God in His timing, and I will walk in obedience and take the steps that he's asking me to take, even if I'm afraid, even if I don't feel like it, even if,
Beth 17:33
yeah, even if that's it's open ended,
Summer 17:36
yeah, but even if, you know I I trust him and I recognize that the wait is where we grow. The weight is where I became closer to him. The wait is where I learned, you know, his character and his nature in deeper ways and where I experienced him. You know so powerfully.
Beth 17:57
Your framework teaches that waiting is what deepens our relationships, it deepens our faith. It deepens our knowledge, our wisdom, all the things, it also builds and it also aligns. And so that is a beautiful story of how waiting does that. I am reminded during my own journey of waiting, I felt like I was on an endless Wait, and I didn't know at the time if I was going to die or if I was going to get better, I just didn't know. And so it felt like a wait. And I remember, I tell you that because I remember a vision that he gave me of waiting, a waiting well, not like waiting well, but like a literal well. And he gave me this vision of every single time we shed tears in our waiting and in the pain of our waiting, and really, the pain doesn't come in the actual weight. It comes in the unknown during the wait. And so every time you you you shed tears and you cry, or you grumble or anything, it's like it's all going down into this well. And he, that's the exact water that he uses to water well, the field that you, that you will be tending to, yeah, the same. And it's it was in that moment for me, it was like what I needed to know, that I know that he saw me in my waiting. Yes, he was aligning me in my waiting. He was deepening me in my waiting. And he was building something within me that needed the space to be built
Summer 19:24
Absolutely, I think one of the gifts that God gave me, and I think he'd given it to me prior, but in the waiting, I feel like God's given me the ability to see the other side and what the other side looks like. The good like to see the good, even if it's just a glimpse of something, and it has carried me through a lot of waiting, struggle to know that even though my present moment, you know, is kind of engulfed with with struggle or with pain or with unknown or whatever it is, he's given me a glimpse what. Just his promise of what's on the other side of that that carries me through, and I'm so thankful for that.
Beth 20:06
Me too. That is so good. Yeah, I think waiting is one of those things that you have to really sit in. I mean, all all the pieces. But again, you cannot look at waiting outside of the sequential order of all the other things. If you try to wait in your own street, you, without a doubt, are going to either get sluggish and not do anything, or you're going to jump ahead of God or get off course, just here, there a little bit. You take things into your own hands that never ends well, you know, there's always course correction. God is a God that is, I mean, his providence. I mean, it promises us that he's going to work at all for good either way, so we can't lose there is a safety net there. But, my goodness, when you start with grace and you understand the rhythm of rest, and you step into that obedience, then waiting, because something that is almost like, okay, here we go. Doesn't matter how long it takes, this is the period of time. I'm not waiting, per se. I'm deepening, I'm building, and I'm aligning with what the best that he has, and I don't want to settle for a second best.
Summer 21:07
And you know, we talked about obedience in the previous episode, and I think in the context of obedience, we mostly talked about it as action, but obedience often requires us to wait as well, and to wait well.
Beth 21:20
Your framework is absolutely incredible. I've had such the honor of the front row seat just watching it mature and walking through it myself, and having you kind of coach me through it. It's just, it's really remarkable. And I think that each one of these pieces could be its own whole series in and of itself, because there's so many layers to it. It's so multifaceted. So I really appreciate you giving me the opportunity to kind of talk through some of these things. It's been really, really fun.
Summer 21:48
Thank you.
Beth 21:49
Okay, so every time I have set with summer, I'll walk away with something I didn't even know I needed. And I hope that you've experienced the same thing. The way she talked about waiting, not as punishment, but as preparation, shifted something inside of me, this whole framework has done just that. I don't know what you might be waiting for right now, but I hope you feel a little less alone and a little more anchored to truth. Summers lived this and the fruit of her faith and the waiting is something we get to learn from her. She's a coach, and she does consulting, and it is truly her life. Call it is purpose driven work. I'm really grateful for that, and I'm really grateful for the opportunity to have had these conversations with her and help you understand from a different perspective exactly what her framework is all about. Now look, we have one more episode. It is on discerning the voice of God, and I cannot wait to wrap up the series with that particular talk. So I do invite you back for the next episode, and we will see you there.
