Healing My Mind: How I Learned to Trust God Instead of Fear
Sep 08, 2025
“But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.”
— James 1:6 (NIV)
I walked out of the orthopedic surgeon’s office in shock.
“You have bilateral hip dysplasia,” he said. I blinked in disbelief, barely able to process his words. “Hip dysplasia?” All I could think was: Isn’t that what dogs get?
It was a structural abnormality I never knew I had—something congenital, something permanent. The doctor told me it would eventually lead to osteoarthritis, eroding cartilage and causing pain and immobility. And then the final blow:
“Eventually, you’ll need a hip replacement.”
That day, something broke in me—not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually.
There was no hope. No plan. Just a cortisone shot and a devastating diagnosis.
When Fear Takes Over
I was 40 years old and had never felt fragile. I was strong, healthy, and fearless—an avid CrossFitter, a world traveler, a woman on mission. Just a year earlier, I had trekked the Himalayas. Pain? Injury? Not part of my story.
But now, my body was failing me—and my mind quickly followed.
I began searching endlessly for answers. Google became my lifeline and my enemy. The deeper I dug, the more fearful I became. Every article, every medical journal, every patient forum fed my anxiety. It wasn’t long before I pulled back from everything I loved—exercise, adventure, even simple daily movements. I was limping, weakened, and in chronic pain.
I felt like I was losing everything—strength, joy, and hope.
When Belief Becomes a Lifeline
For years, I spiraled—emotionally exhausted, physically broken, and spiritually numb. I saw countless professionals, tried endless therapies, and grew increasingly convinced that this was just my reality now.
Until one day in 2023, I walked into my pelvic floor physical therapist’s office.
After an evaluation, she looked me in the eye and said with 100% confidence:
“You can heal.”
Those three words changed everything.
Hope rushed in where fear had reigned for far too long. I made a decision that day—not just to work on my physical strength, but to believe that healing was actually possible. And slowly, through our sessions, my hip began to feel better.
It taught me something profound:
What we choose to believe has power. But even more powerful is who we choose to believe.
Whose Voice Are You Listening To?
One night, as my husband and I were praying, he looked up, eyes filled with tears and said:
“You’re healed.”
He felt God assure him in that moment, just as He had assured me months earlier when I started hormone therapy. I remember thinking: This is it. The hormones will fix everything.
But God stopped me right there. In a voice I will never forget, He said:
“The hormones won’t heal you. I will.”
God wanted me to know, unmistakably, that He alone was my healer. Not medicine, not therapy, not my own efforts. Yes, He could use those tools—but healing comes from Him.
More than physical restoration, God wanted to heal my belief—to restore my trust in Him, not in my own knowledge or strength.
The Real Battle: Your Mind
I wish I could tell you the fight ended there. But healing isn’t always linear. Pain returned. New symptoms surfaced. I doubted again. I feared again. And I’m still facing a hip replacement.
But this time, I recognized the real battle wasn’t in my body—it was in my mind.
Yes, the diagnosis was real. But what I believed about it became even more powerful than the diagnosis itself. And I realized: I had been believing Satan’s lies.
Let me be clear: I’m not saying the surgeon was Satan. He gave me a diagnosis. But Satan used that diagnosis to plant seeds of fear, anxiety, depression, and hopelessness in my heart.
And I let those lies take root.
John 10:10 says,
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…”
Satan’s weapon is deception. His target? Our minds.
“There is no truth in him… he is a liar and the father of lies.” (John 8:44)
And when we believe his lies, we empower him. We give him access to steal our peace, kill our joy, and destroy our purpose.
So, What Lies Are You Believing?
- That your situation is hopeless?
- That anxiety and depression will always define you?
- That your marriage or family can’t be restored?
- That your past disqualifies you?
- That your problem is too big for God?
If any of that sounds familiar, let me lovingly say: You’re believing a lie.
But the good news?
We have power through the Name, the Word, and the Blood of Jesus to fight back.
Fight With the Right Weapons
Ephesians 6:10–17 reminds us of the spiritual armor we’ve been given:
- The belt of truth
- The breastplate of righteousness
- The shoes of peace
- The shield of faith
- The helmet of salvation
- The sword of the Spirit (God’s Word)
This isn’t a metaphor. It’s a strategy. We must recognize the real enemy, resist him with the Truth, and rest in God’s promises.
I used to think Satan was attacking my body. But now I know—he was attacking my mind, and my mind was sabotaging my body. When my spirit finally grew strong enough to resist the lies and believe the truth, my body followed suit.
Resting in His Promises
Writing this post was a battle. I struggled through pain, discouragement, and even a kidney stone. At one point, I felt like a fraud for writing about healing while experiencing pain again.
But then I realized…
Satan didn’t want me to write this.
God used every word to continue healing me—from health anxiety, from fear, from doubt. He drew me back to His Word and reminded me that the battle is His, not mine.
“Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.” — Psalm 30:2
“Be strong and courageous… for the Lord your God goes with you.” — Deuteronomy 31:6
“Stop doubting and believe.” — John 20:27
Final Question: Who Are You Going to Believe?
When the storm rages, when the pain persists, when the answers don’t come…
Will you believe your feelings? Your fears? The enemy’s voice?
Or will you believe the One who created you, who loves you, who promises to never leave you?
Because in the end, it’s not about how strong we are—it’s about where we place our belief.
“Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her.” — Luke 1:45 (NIV)